Would You Facebook Stalk Your Own Husband?
Though we've had several years to get the hang of Facebook and figure out it's place in our daily lives and relationships, the site is still just as fun, confusing,andoverwhelming as ever. We've seen Facebook have a positive influence on marriage, providing a useful way for you and your husband to connect throughout your busy days, as well as a painfully negative one, as reported by Smart Money. And still the way that some couples use Facebook hasn't gotten any less downright annoying. The temptation to "Facebook-stalk"—one of the site's greatest forms of easy entertainment—is ever-present (who doesn't find themselves mindlessly clicking away from time to time?). And we don't mean spying necessarily, just checking up on your friends out of curiosity. Rachel Sussman, couples therapist and author ofThe Breakup Bible, advises, "It's a great idea for a couple to have Facebook rules regarding what is okay to share vs. what is private, how many hours a day to use it, regulations about contacting exes, and what happens if an ex contacts you. These rules, when followed, can make Facebook a fun and, at times, useful activity." So, we wanted to ask you: Do you ever "Facebook stalk" your own husband?
"I'm constantly on Facebook (especially when I'm bored at work) and I tend to post updates on FB about my engagement and wedding planning because I'm excited to share it with everyone. I definitely "Facebook stalked" Bobby, my fiancé, in the early years of us dating, but now that our relationship is more secure, I don't check out his page that often at all." – Mandi A., 27
"My husband opened a Facebook account at the strong urging and cajoling of me and our two teenage daughters. He is, at best, a very light user. Not so much his ex-girlfriend! Thanks to the site's algorithms, I am weekly urged to 'friend' her because each of my husband's three brothers, one sister-in-law and his mother are all her 'friends.' This, after 25 years of them being broken up.... So, while I totally trust my husband, I do wonder about these extended lingering links!" – Joanne H., 49
"My husband, Drew, really dislikes Facebook and barely has a page of his own, so he generally has contempt for my use of FB. I do feel like I have to be careful of what I post so that he doesn't feel like I'm putting his private information out there. Ethics feel pretty complicated in terms of posting about your family, especially as your kids get older and are more sensitive to your friends knowing about their embarrassing situations. And stuff about your husband – it's either annoyingly lovey dovey or worryingly negative – so I tend not to write much about him." – Avital R., 38
"I'm not that Facebook savvy, but I have looked at my significant other's page. There is a lot I don't know about his life, and the things he posts are so charming and interesting that I want to call him up and see if he wants to go on a date. That is what makes Facebook amazing – you can make yourself appear both accessible and at the same time, out of reach. What an alluring combination. Me, I'm too lazy to post much and I've also made my FB page private so that you can't search for me. Is that a FB oxymoron?" – Janet D., 40
"I actually have not been on Dan's Facebook. It really doesn't interest me. I go on my own account, but do not have any desire to check out his." – Terri C., 52
"I haven't ever 'Facebook stalked' to see if my husband is cheating or anything, but I do look at his site when I am on the road to see what he's up to, thinking about, etc. And he's got lots of pictures posted, so I like to look at pictures of him if I can't be with him or connected by phone." – Alisa G., 39
"Nothing sounds more boring than 'Facebook stalking' my husband." - Anne T., 57
Does Facebook have a role in your marriage? Are you tempted to Facebook stalk your husband? Leave your thoughts in the comments.
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